Explanation...

So yes I guess I should give a little explanation of the Marissa and I situation. I'll try and keep it short.

1. I liked Marissa and Marissa liked me.
2. Maddie came into my life and tried to get with me.
3. Marissa acted like she didn't wanna be with me and was really weird and stand-offish (but now I know it's because of who she is).
4. I hooked up with Maddie.
5. Marissa hated me, but we started dating.
6. I treated her like shit and did things I shouldn't have. It's way sad looking back on.
7. I broke up with her because I was so unhappy.
8. Hooked up with Leah.
9. Hooked up with Maddie.
10. Realized I made the biggest mistake EVER, and started talking to Marissa again.
11. Started dating Marissa again. :) :) Sooooo much happier and better this time though. We like worked through our kinks and now it's way legit. She's so wonderful.

Yep.

Love my little Jew

I always make fun of Marissa and her little Jew-ness because I think it's adorable
So her family always eats Chinese food on Christmas and I found this
article.
I love this quote:
“Yes, the only people in the world whom it seems to me the Jews are not afraid of are the Chinese,” Alexander Portnoy tells us. “Because one, the way they speak English makes my father sound like Lord Chesterfield; two, the insides of their heads are just so much fried rice anyway; and three, to them we are not Jews but white and maybe even Anglo Saxon. No wonder they can’t intimidate us. To them we’re just some big-nosed variety of WASP.”


Aw I love Marissa. And! She gets here in 3 days!!

Oh, and I'm SO into Marissa.
Dri is insane, so why waste my time.
Wish Marissa wasn't straight but hey she made the first move and she sure didn't make out with me like she was straight.
Mmm I wish I didn't leave CO so I could try and get more into that but we'll see when I return though.
The Web is getting a lot more intense now, I just need to get more of the CU girls on it then see where we go from there.

"

When I came out as a dyke, I wanted to say fuck you to lovely. Fuck trying to be feminine, when I didn't want to be. Fuck the guys I had written about for hours in my journal, trying to figure out what they wanted and what I had done wrong. Fuck the image of the perfect woman I had treasured, believing that someday I would be transformed. Chop off the sweet long hair that I hoped would help me always feel loved and worthy.

I was going to be visible. I was going to put up a sign saying, "This is a dyke - now deal!"

"

I like this girl. I didn't mean to cut my hair so short but I guess it's okay. Camryn is gonna fix it today. I wouldn't really mind looking like a dyke I guess. Just short and edgy and cute is what I want. It kinda looks rough now and semi like a 12 year old and semi like a dyke. Who knows.

Dri is fucking insane. Dating girls fucking suck. Maybe not this bad all the time, but literally I think she would fit in completely fine in an insane asylum.
SHE IS CRAZY.
We broke up forever ago and she is still around, loves me (apparently), still treats me like shit. And yeah Idk what else. She just really needs to get out of my life I think. She's making me flip a little shit I believe. I NEED TO GO HOME. I need a break from her. Preferably forever but I guess three weeks will do!! That way I can have fun, do all the shit I do in Richmond, then come back and hopefully not see her ya know?
Let's see. She brought a cat over here, and we've been taking care of it. Yet she just bought a puppy. Like what is she gonna do come Friday when she has both that she is responsible for?!
WTF.

Final at 7 a.m. I'm gonna die.

Yay

My boss or like the boss for my temporary job just called me and I have an interview tomorrow so I'm kinda stoked about that but then again I'm really nervous.

I was trying to give Tcal some space just because I thought he was fed up with me texting him and being annoying etc but he texted me first today so that's a good sign. I just wish I could explain to him how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did. Too bad he doesn't know my blog. (lolol)

I super need to kick into school mode. I didn't go to class this morning and for no reason at all...like WTF LAURA. Do something...Like I'm paying a shit ton of money to just fail pretty much. Sigh after practice tonight I need to finish my French work and just get into gear.

I'm excited for practice at least. But not too excited for conditioning. 7am conditioning would suck but then again 5pm wouldn't be too fun either. So I need to make thaaaaat decision and get on with my life.

I kinda miss Richmond. I need to finish my VCU application but now my mind's all over the place and I can't decide (once again) what I wanna do with my life. Eff.

Labor day weekend

My visit to Richmond was good but way too much drama for me and way too much shit went down in my opinion.

I'm just a skank and I can't really come to terms with myself yet. I just get bored and that's what I do when I'm bored? That sounds horrible but yeah.

I wish things worked out with Tcal or like I wish things in the future would work out with him but I'm not sure what's gonna happen.

I'm really gonna try the rest of the summer to not be a skank but I think it's a complete different story here. Here I can control myself better for some reason. I think in Virginia there are just so many people that I have sexual tension with and it's like one of those things where we've both been thinking about it for a while so we just figure it's fine.

I don't know. Too bad most people don't even know half the shit that went down this weekend.

Whatever. Hanging out with Neill tonight. He is too into me but I really wanna be his friend. So tonight is kinda my first test. Ha I suck so much. But yeah I really need to do school work but don't feel like it and I wish people out here would photobooth with me because that's all I really wanna do. Haha I love my new Macbook pro and I'm so surprised I somehow hid it from my mom. Tooooo crazy.

All in all. Labor day itself was good.

Oh saw Blink last night which was epic. Travis Barker is so hot and so talented. And he did the sickest solo hold on lemme find a video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB5BUIgrx88

But like it looked ten times cooler in person.

Let's see. Oh me and the roomies and Sage went to all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster and it was great and I ate wayyyyyy too much but now I'm hungry again wtf who does that???

Adios